


Level the Playing Field

by MandolinDoodler



Category: How to Train Your Dragon - Fandom
Genre: Everyone Gets A Kiss, Hiccup's on a kissing spree, Multi, it's the only fair way to do it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:40:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29349069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MandolinDoodler/pseuds/MandolinDoodler
Summary: How Hiccup ends up kissing each of the dragon riders in one day
Relationships: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Astrid Hofferson, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Everyone
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	Level the Playing Field

It just  _ happens  _ one time.

The gang has split up and Hiccup is with Ruffnut as they’re running from some hunters and duck into a room. There’s nowhere else to hide and no way they can fit through the tiny window on the other side of the room, so Hiccup does the only thing he can think of: he kisses Ruffnut. It’s something he remembers hearing from Camicazi - people tend to get awkward when they walk in on people kissing so they’ll leave as quickly as possible without paying much attention to who’s doing the kissing.

Lo and behold, it works! He hears the door slam open, hears the yells of the hunters cut off, then the door is slamming shut and footsteps are fading away down the hall.

Hiccup pulls back to look at a somewhat dazed Ruffnut. He gives her a hasty explanation and she takes it in in that easy way the twins are known for that leaves a foreboding feeling tingling in Hiccup’s gut, but she’s not freaking out and she doesn’t mention the kiss to the others when they’re all back together so he leaves it be.

It becomes a  _ thing _ between them after that. Not a common thing, but a thing that happens whenever he’s with Ruffnut and they need to avoid being caught.

The complications come when Tuffnut happens to be with them during one of these occasions. Ruffnut is quick to shove her twin under a desk before locking lips with Hiccup, the hunters come and go, and Tuffnut emerges just in time to see his sister and leader pull away from their kiss.

What follows is a guilty, defensive explanation from Hiccup reassuring his friend that the kisses don’t mean anything and that there is a reason for all of this. As expected Tuffnut throws a fit, but not for the reason Hiccup was anticipating. Rather than being upset over the secrecy or for his sister, Tuffnut is upset that he isn’t a part of the deal. Why does Ruffnut get to makeout with Hiccup, but Tuffnut doesn’t?

Maybe it’s the way the twin’s eye’s water up or the slump of his shoulders or maybe he just wants to put an end to the Thorston dramatics. Whatever the reason, Hiccup takes pity and kisses Tuffnut. His lips linger long enough that no argument can be made about it not being a ‘real’ kiss.

It should have stopped there.  _ Everything  _ should have stopped there.

What he gets instead is a question of who else he’s kissed among the dragon riders. He gives the obvious answer of Astrid and withholds the fact that he may have used this trick once or twice with Heather.

“But not Fishlegs or Snotlout?” and the way Tuffnut says  _ Snotlout _ is so telling that Hiccup beats the twins out of the tent without ever answering. None of them know the exact whereabouts of any of the other riders so they end up splitting ways in an effort to each find the Jorgenson boy first.

Along the edges of the camp, hiding from hunters within a stack of crates is Fishlegs. Hiccup dashes into the nook to interrogate Fishlegs, asking him where he left Snotlout when the two were supposed to be paired together. He gets his answer, though it’s clear Fishlegs can sense his panic and is getting anxiety just from the frantic look in his leader’s eyes. Hiccup promises it’s nothing bad, at least nothing deadly or pertaining to the mission, but he needs to get to Snotlout before the twins.

He’s about to dash off when he realizes Fishlegs will no doubt be the next target of the Thorstons and Hiccup needs to put an end to that before it can even start. An apology slips out of his mouth with the promise of an explanation after all this is over, then he kisses Fishlegs. Like with Tuffnut, he keeps contact just long enough to make it ‘real’ and then he’s off to find Snotlout before it’s too late.

Snotlout is spotted by Ruffnut, Tuffnut, and Hiccup all at once. The saving grace is that there are more obstacles for the twins to get through than for Hiccup to get through. He makes it to his friend and has his lips locked with Snotlout’s before either Thorston can get close enough to throw out any taunts.

Immediately after he pulls away, Hiccup apologizes, says Snotlout will understand in a moment, gives him the same promise he gave to Fishlegs of an explanation once they’re all home. He’d stick around, but there’s still a mission to complete and the three riders he’s with are going to be no help now that this kissing situation has come up, so he heads off in search of Astrid.

Obviously the first thing he does once he finds her is give her a kiss - actually several kisses broken up only by him telling her he loves her very much, she knows he loves her, right? Astrid isn’t stupid. She knows something’s up but why argue about kisses with her boyfriend? They move forward with their mission, Heather joining them part way through, and before they know it they’re meeting the rest of the group on the far side of the island.

Predictably, the twins are hounding Snotlout about the kisses and bragging about how they got kisses before him. Fishlegs gives Hiccup an exasperated grin and eye roll when he approaches the group and it’s a comfort for the lead dragon rider that his friend understands without needing the full explanation.

Heather asks the dreaded question that prompts the twins to spill the beans about Hiccup’s fake makeouts as a ploy to dodge getting caught on missions. As per the pattern of the day, Astrid reacts more to the fact that she’s never been on the receiving end of one of these makeouts than the fact that Hiccup’s been making out with other members of the gang. His excuse that he’s never  _ needed _ to do it with Astrid because she can (and will) fight her way out of any situation is enough to satisfy the shieldmaiden (for now).

Dagur, having joined the group just in time to hear about Hiccup hastily kissing the remaining members to even the playing field, shows the expected indignation at not being included. Out of spite, Hiccup almost doesn’t kiss the Berserker. But he’s a part of the dragon riders, now, plus Hiccup knows he’ll be obnoxious about his whining for the next week if he doesn’t get a kiss. With a sigh, Hiccup marches over to Dagur and cuts off his complaining with a hard kiss that’s pointedly quicker than the others he’s given out.

“There!” Hiccup turns in a slow circle to make eye contact with each of his friends, ignoring the smirks on half their faces, “now you’ve all been kissed by me! We are all on even ground and no one-” he turns on his heel to glare at the twins when Ruffnut opens her mouth to make a snarky remark, “-can hold this over anyone else. Understood?”

They each nod when Hiccup’s gaze makes it back around to them, but it’s in that humoring way that means they’re just agreeing to appease their leader and that this is by no means going to be dropped anytime soon.

“I hear you’re giving out kisses.”

The new voice snaps them out of their fun with the harsh reminder that they’re still in Dragon Hunter territory. Viggo stands behind them, smirk stretched across his face and dark brown eyes locked on Hiccup.

“Nope! Nope nope nope! We’re leaving.” The words are barely out of Hiccup’s mouth when he and the others jump into their saddles and take to the skies.


End file.
